Keep Holding On
by MrsMichaelSandrelli
Summary: Set after the mysterious bashing of Rocco and then his untimely death. warning may contain Home and Away spoilers. Ric has been framed for Rocco's death. STARTS AS RICMATILDA, THEN RICOC. Please RR if u want more!
1. Chapter 1

**Keep Holding On**

Characters: Mattie and Ric, Ric and Steph

Setting: After Ric kills Rocco – the aftermath

Lyrics: Avril Lavigne "Keep Holding On"

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Steph and the plot. FLAMES WILL BE EXTINGUISHED!

Chapter 1.

Mattie sat in her room, silently thinking about Ric and what he had done. She knew she should stand by him, but to be in love with a murderer? That didn't feel right. She felt as though she should run away, change her name, identity and forget Summer Bay. On the other hand, Sally, Brad, Alf, and the others would need support. She stared out the window at the grey sky, wondering how Ric was, if he really did kill Rocco. "He must be feeling so terrible right now" Mattie mused to herself. Suddenly she had the urge to turn her radio on. The song that was just starting was Avril Lavigne's new song "Keep Holding On". As she listened to the words, she realised just how much they applied to the situation at hand between her and Ric.

_You're not alone_

_together we stand_

_i'll be by your side_

_you know i'll take your hand_

_when it gets cold_

_and it feels like the end_

_theres no place to go you know I wont give in_

_no I wont give in._

She knew that every word had a meaning for her, her emotions and feelings at that point and she knew Ric should listen to this song as well. She picked up her mobile, then put it down again. She had promised herself that she would not have any more contact with Ric after he was found to be the murderer. She despised murder and death, even though her boyfriend had committed murder, she knew she should, realistically stand by him, but she didn't want to. She wanted to be with Ric, to feel, touch and smell him, to feel his comforting embrace and to hear him say he loved her. Her mind screamed 'go to him' whereas her heart screamed 'stay away from him'.

She had to know.

_Keep holding on_

_'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

_just stay strong_

_cause you know i'm here for you, i'm here for you_

_theres nothing you can say, nothing you can do_

_theres no other way when it comes to the truth_

_so keep holding on_

_cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through._

Mattie walked out of the house and headed to the beach, her long blonde hair whipping behind her in the wind that had suddenly sprung up, a cold, harsh wind, almost mirroring her feelings towards Ric, cold and harsh. She did love him, but knew she could never be with him after this.

_So far away I wish you were here_

_before it's too late this could all disapear_

_before the doors close, and it comes to an end_

_but with you by my side I will fight and defend, i'll fight and defend yeah yeah._

Mattie sat on the beach, just thinking. She didn't even see the familiar figure walking slowly towards her until he put a hand on her shoulder. She jumped and turned around quickly.

It was Ric. The one person who she had hoped desperately to avoid until the last minute. She knew that her inner fear, of him attacking and murdering her, was showing plainly across her face, but she didn't try to hide it.

Ric spoke first. "Mattie, what's going on with you? Why are you avoiding me? You know I wont ever hurt you." He said, with a break in his voice.

Mattie bowed her head so he couldn't see the tears beginning to form. She loved him so much, but the whole murder incident made her look twice at him.

"Ric, I cant be with you anymore. Its not that I know you wont hurt me, but I despise murder and the shock of finding out that my boyfriend, the one person I love the most, is a murderer, well, theres only one option for us. It's over." Mattie said bluntly, keeping her head bowed.

_Keep holding on_

_'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through just stay strong._

_cause you know i'm here for you, i'm here for you_

_theres nothing you can say, nothing you can do_

_theres no other way when it comes to the truth_

_so keep holding on_

_cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through._

Ric let go of her suddenly and turned away to stare out over the sea, shocked and upset by Mattie and her sudden statement. He realised that he had hurt her the most out of everyone. He knew that he had a volatile nature, but he thought he could keep it under control. Apparently not. He knew what the consequences were and even if he had to wait 100 years before he went to jail, it would never prepare him.

He also knew that Mattie was the only link he still had with his sanity. No-one wanted to know or even associate with him any more, not even his own grandfather or Sally! He wanted Mattie to be there for him, but even she was slipping away from him, disgusted, like all the others, about his heinous crime.

_Hear me when I say, when I say_

_I believe nothings gonna change, nothings gonna change destiny_

_what ever is ment to be_

_will work out perfectly yeah yeah yeah yeah_

_lalalalalalala..._

Mattie raised her head a tiny bit, just enough to see Ric's face without alerting him to the fact that she was staring at him. She could read all his emotions and she knew he had realised that there was no-one left for him to turn to.

"Ric, look. I love you so much, but my head's screaming at me to run away and hide and forget everything between us, whereas my heart is screaming at me to hold onto you, stay with you until the end and never let you go. Im sorry, I just have to do what feels right. Its over." she sobbed, and ran off down the beach, crying hard, crying for her love for Ric, her disgust at his horrible act, her despair of leaving him alone with no-one to support him and her own foolishness.

Ric stood there stunned. He genuinely thought that Mattie didn't love him anymore, but in fact, it was the opposite! He felt overjoyed, but at the same time deeply disappointed, in himself, not to be able to reassure her enough to make her see, see that he was a good person and the whole thing had been an accident and was not his fault.

He turned and started jogging to see the one person, the only one who wouldn't judge him, would support him even though what he had done was indescribable, and be able to put his mind at ease.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Ric jogged up the driveway and knocked on the front door. It was opened almost immediately by Johnny Cooper's wife, Stephayni De Walscott, who was also Ric's closest friend since he was arrested and awaiting trial.

"Steph, I need someone to talk to. I've got no-one left, not even Mattie!" Ric said, breaking down. Stephayni quickly ushered him inside then enveloped him in a hug as he cried.

Later on, when Ric had calmed down enough to talk properly without breaking down, Steph quietly asked him for the full story which he gladly poured out to her. "And that's what happened." Ric said sadly, staring at the floor, tears beginning to well up in his eyes again. Steph did the only thing she could, she silently took his hand and held it in a comforting way. Ric raised his head and looked at Steph. Suddenly he leaned in and kissed her passionately. Steph did the only thing she could think of, she kissed him back. Ric pulled her close and deepened the kiss, pouring all his pain, passion, hurt and sadness into it. Steph felt it, replying with comfort, compassion and strength. She could feel Ric's hands creeping up her top, and she broke the kiss, not wanting Ric to get the wrong idea. Ric's hurt expression nearly broke her heart. "Ric, this isn't right, you have a girlfriend and lots of people who love you. They are there for you, even if you don't think so. As am I. I will stand by you if you need me to, but I cant be anymore than a friend to you. Im married to Johnny and even though I hold more power than him, he still says what goes on with me and he would not hesitate to kill me if he thought or found out I was straying. There is nothing more that I want than to be more than a friend to you, to be able to give you everything you want and need, but I cant. Well, not at the moment." Steph said quietly.

Ric nodded, unable to speak. Steph suddenly stood up, walked over to her CD player and slipped a CD into it and pressed 'play'.

"I want you to sit here for a moment, while I go and make you and I another cup of Chai tea. Listen to the words and take in the meaning."

The song was Avril Lavigne's new song, 'Keep Holding On'. Steph quietly left the room, leaving Ric to his thoughts.

_Keep holding on_

_'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

_just stay strong_

_cause you know i'm here for you, i'm here for you_

_theres nothing you can say, nothing you can do_

_theres no other way when it comes to the truth_

_so keep holding on_

_cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through._

When the song ended, Steph, who had been patiently waiting, entered the room, holding two steaming mugs of Chai tea. She had found this tea different, but soothing. She was a huge fan of Chai Latte's but stuck to the tea itself as she could drink more of that than the Latte's. Ric stood almost immediately and took the proffered mug. He sat back down on the couch and took a sip from the mug. He let the steaming liquid warm and numb him, covering his raw feelings for Steph, his pain and fear. He knew that Steph had been the one he was destined to be with, but even she held him at arms length, not because of the murder, but because she respected his relationship and feelings for Matilda. He loved that about Steph, even though she was married, she didn't cut herself off from any single guys but let them know from the first moment that she was married, even though she was going through divorce proceedings at the present time, as she had had enough of Johnny and his nasty ways. She was the leader of the most feared gang, the Black Dragons. They were the elite group, made up of the best. Burglars, safe crackers, explosives experts, gun smugglers, drug runners, robbery gear mules, murderers, assassins, jailbirds and more. These were the best and the worst. To be in that gang, you had to be good. Very good. Steph was the best of course as she was the leader. She was the best at setting up bomb sites, target areas, robberies, fraud, could forge any signature perfectly after just one look, even a quick glance and assassinate anyone without even flinching. She could handle any type of weapon, from guns to knives, crossbows and more. She was the top in tactical maneuvers, and strategic planning. She knew everything about everyone in Summer Bay and her list of black market contacts was the most wanted list as it contained the names and numbers of the biggest drug lords, gun runners and other people. Ric knew that getting into a relationship with her was a very dangerous thing to do, considering her position and experience. He had also admitted at one point that his feelings for her ran deeper than just pure friendship, but she had pointed out that his heart truly lay with Matilda and that she was just some silly crush he had.

Suddenly Steph spoke. "No matter what happens from now on Ric, I will always be there for you, no matter what. But only in the background, for if I took a more personal approach, I would be breaking a lot of rules in my book. But I will be there for you whenever you need me. Just remember to keep holding on, just stay strong. Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly." She said in a quietly confident voice.

_Keep holding on_

_'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

_just stay strong_

_cause you know i'm here for you, i'm here for you_

_theres nothing you can say, nothing you can do_

_theres no other way when it comes to the truth_

_so keep holding on_

_cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through._

Ric stood up, walked over to where Steph stood in the doorway and gave her a hug. "Thank you Steph. You are literally the only one that hasn't either shunned or disowned me. You are literally the only one left in my life. I want you in my life forever. I trust you with my life and my heart and soul are yours if you want them." He said.

Steph looked at him coolly. She knew that Johnny would agree to the divorce, as she had threatened to have him killed in jail if he didn't agree and she had also bought his silence in that regards. She had also threatened to have him removed if she found out that he had orchestrated Rocco's death, which she figured he had anyway, but didn't want to say anything. Johnny had also informed her about the whole 'killing Roc' thing including all plans and involvement of people. She realised, that she could be roped in as an accessory but she knew she could get out of it pretty easily. Just offer up her book of contacts and watch them crawl. She was not a mean person, in fact she had gone out of her way many times, to put lower level gang members behind bars by helping the cops with their enquiries. She had basically become their main contact.

She knew Ric was not a bad person, just caught up in the emotions of the past few weeks and they had gotten the better of him. She also knew that Ric was honest, caring, loving and a great friend, but until the divorce, she felt she couldn't really open up to Ric about her feelings for him.

Ric finally broke the silence. "I had better get going. Sally probably wants me at home to help with dinner. Thanks for everything Steph." He said wistfully, thinking that in fact Sally would have probably changed the locks and had bars put on the windows so he would see that he was not wanted. He stood up and made to go to the front door, when Steph suddenly spoke.

"This is crazy. Im crazy! Im letting the one person who I care about walk out of my life without even a goodbye! Im stupid! You are the one person I cannot and will not live without! I want you in my life as much as you want me in yours. We belong together Ric. You are everything I want in a man, you're honest, caring, a great friend, loving and there for me when I need you the most." She ranted. Ric crossed the room in three strides and pulled her against him and as his lips crashed down onto hers, Steph knew she had found her soulmate.

After what seemed like an eternity, they broke apart and Ric whispered "I love you Steph. I always will." Steph replied "I love you too Ric, I am yours until the end." Finis!


End file.
